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Summer League Reports
Young men far from home discovering their bodies, gently touching each other to show appreciation, affirmation, team unity. Comforting caresses from a teammate to console a desolate soul who was up all night clanging the rim in a desperate attempt to improve his foul shots, his nubile footwork, his ball handling skills. Living together, eating together, sharing secrets, laughter, cigarettes and wine coolers. Implementing the locker-room code of justice by administering beatdowns with long socks filled with hard soap and tough love. Welcome to the summer leagues, boys, the American boarding school for freakishly long manchilds. We dream of being there with you, every tender loving night.
The Wizz lost their first Summer League Game 93-85 to the Toronto Raptors and the Big Macaroni Andrea Bargnani. Irish novelist and former Harlem Globetrotter Cornelius "Scooter" McFadgon led the Bullets with 17 points, while Andray Blatche had a triple-double with 15 points, 12 rebounds, and no bullet wounds. Meanwhile, the Big Oily added 15 points and eight rebounds. Awesome debut, Oleksiy! The Wizz battle the Detroit Pistons today, so we hope no players went out last night and threw some craps and bought some whores. Remember: FROM SUMMER LEAGUE TO THE BIG LEAGUE TO THE BEER LEAGUE TO THE GRAVE LEAGUE. Live it, love it, moisten it.
Coach Eddie Jordan, seen here with paper jammed down his pants in the name of EDUTAINMENT, says, "On one hand you can't blame Jahidi. Stevie dressed provocatively and always had fresh cartons of cigarettes."
Go here for more photos of the Wizz Kidzz in training and Party John getting boxed out.
Finally, did anyone read Mike Wise's column in the Post today? We know he's a regular reader of the WizzNutzz incites, but he pretty much steals, line for line, everything intern August Strindberg said on Wednesday!! We were especially surprised to see this line in M Dubz column: "And my stem could not spare its main branch -- and so stem and branch must die together."
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